


distraction

by h8tedhannah



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: M/M, Zalexweek2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25119574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h8tedhannah/pseuds/h8tedhannah
Summary: “You're missing the point. It’s not about Chole. I didn’t love her. It’s about you, Alex.”Zalex week day 1Rewrite of the s4 find your drink party | after Zach kisses Chole and gets rejected Alex comes to comfort him.
Relationships: Zach Dempsey & Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	distraction

**Author's Note:**

> day 1 of zalex week : comfort
> 
> This is pretty rushed and shitty but yeah zalex nation y’all are getting a feast this week with fanfics 🖤

Zach didn’t even know why he was crying. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the fact that he had just gotten shut down by the last girl he might have had a chance with, or maybe it was because he was finally starting to realize everything much too late. He rested his head against the bathroom wall, trying to ignore the music and shouts of the party going on outside. 

“It was all too much” he thought. He knew he’d already wrecked his life up enough, but he couldn’t handle shit anymore, not even when he was drunk. So the once tough Zachary Dempsey sat on the bathroom floor and cried. He didn’t know how long he was there for, and he didn’t care. Clay was blowing up his phone about his hookup and the bet, but Zach couldn’t even focus on reading his texts. 

Suddenly there was a voice outside of the door. One that Zach would easily recognize, but in this particular moment, absolutely dreaded. “I- I think I’m going to use the bathroom Charlie. Those cookies really fucked me up. I’ll meet you back in the movie room.” Alex said, now leaning against the closed door. Zach panicked, realizing he left the door unlocked and Alex was already twisting the knob open; so he grabbed the tissues he cried on and jumped into the shower, doing his best to avoid his best friend. He heard Alex enter the bathroom and Zach nervously wiped his tears as he realized he would probably hear Alex take a shit. But Alex didn’t use the bathroom, instead he just sat down on the bathroom tile and stared up at the ceiling before puking weed cookies inside of the toilet. “God. I’m never getting high again.” He muttered. Zach instinctively grew the need to help his best friend, as he always had; so it was only a matter of second before the shower curtain clammored around and Zach appeared, standing in the tub. “WHAT THE FUCK ZACH!?” Alex screamed, jumping a good 4 feet in air. Zach stepped out of the tub hesitantly. “Um. Sorry?” He said quielty, his voice still raspy from the crying session. “You scared the living fuck out out of me! What were you gonna do; hide in the shower and watch me take a piss?!” He said, starting to slowly calm down and collapse on the floor again. Zach collapsed down next to him, pulling out his flask. “Are you high?” He asked. “Not really. Charlie’s weed only lasts 30 minutes max. Are you drunk?” Alex said back, knowing the probable answer. “No. But I want to be.” Zach replied, taking a swig from the flask. He sniffled and cried to face his head away from Zach, hoping he wouldn’t notice how red his eyes were. “I’m not stupid Zach. I can tell when you’ve been crying.” Alex said, staring into the back of his head. “You’re wrong. I haven’t.” Alex couldn’t see, but after he choked out those words tears started sliding down his cheeks again, slowly puddling at his collarbones. “I’m just- tired.” Alex sighed and grabbed his face, forcing Zach to look at him in the eyes. “What the fuck is going on Zach, why don’t you talk about it?” He said, using his thumb to slowly wipe the tears off Zachs face. “Because it’s stupid.” Zach replied. “I don’t care if you’re crying over fucking spilled milk, I’m your friend and I want to talk to you about it. He paused for a moment. “This- this isn’t about Bryce and shit- isn’t?” Alex asked softly. Zachs eyes widened. “You- you can tell?” “Of course I can tell. I’ve seen you cry before. This isn’t the regretful, angry cry; it’s the sad and confused one. And sad and confused- I don’t- I don’t like that with you- it’s not the Zach I know.” Zach sighed and rested his head on the wall besides Alex. “I saw Chole.” was all he said. “Oh.” Alex replied, almost passive aggressively. To be quite honest, ever since he developed a crush on Zach, he hated Chole. All Alex wanted was for Zach to look at him the way he looked at Chole. All he wanted was to be the beautiful blonde Chole was with a Chance with the boy he loved for so long. And that night on the rooftop, finally, Alex swore he saw that loving look that Zach gave to girlfriends up there, and he thought, maybe I do have a chance. That’s why he kissed him. But then, not even seconds after was the cold feeling of Zachs soft lips leaving his and him saying “I’m not into guys.” Still, he couldn’t hate Zach for it, but he couldn’t deny those feelings for his best friend had ever left. So when Choles name was brought up, Alex uncomfortably moved, jealously stirring up inside him. “Yeah. She um. We- we kissed- but-.” And with that Zach couldn’t even finish. He started bawling once again, burying his hands in his knees and sobbing like it was the end of the world. Alex didn’t know what else to do than to wrap his arm around Zachs back and move his fingers in circles up and down to comfort him. “She moved on. And it’s my fault because I kept ignoring her. I chose drinks over her. I chose drinking over you. I chose drinking over my own self. I fucked myself up.” He said quietly. Not taking his head out. “Zach..you didn’t fuck up your life forever. Just because you lost a few friends and shit, and maybe a girl, you still have so much to prove to yourself, so much to live for. I still see the amazing and wonderful sober Zach that I know and love, and I believe you still have so much hope in your life. You have time to get it all back; turn it into something good.” Zach looked up at the brown haired boy and smiled, a sad, terribly broken smile. “And..I’m sorry about Chole. She really lost out. You’re a great guy Zach, you deserve better.” Zach sighed and turned away, another tear sliding down his neck. “B-but I don’t. I always fuck it up and push the people I love away. I’m always so fucking late to realize shit. I don’t deserve love like that Alex.” He said softly. “You’re a dumbass. You do. You really do. Why do you think I had a crush on you for so long and kissed you? It wasn’t because I thought you were hot, it was because you cared for me so much, and you were such an amazing person I thought- well that’s besides the point. But I’m trying to say you DO deserve love. And I think that’s what you need.” There was silence for a moment until a soft chuckle came from Zach. “So you..don’t.. think I’m hot?” Alex playfully punched him in the arm and blushed. “You’re missing the point.” “You are too Alex. I’m not- I’m not sad that Chole rejected me- I’m scared.” Alex’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Scared?” “I- um. I wanted to use Chole. That’s why I kissed her.” Zach said, confusing Alex even more. “Use her? For sex? Are you fucking kidding me?” Alex said, starting to shift away from Zach. “No! No! I meant- as a- distraction- a way to hopefully feel something again. I didn’t really love her, but I wanted to kiss her to- to see if maybe it would help things be less confusing.” “Confusing how?” Alex asked. “I think. I think I realized I loved someone. But this gu- girl they’ve moved on. And I’m confused about my feelings for her. So that’s- that’s why I’m sad about Chole. Because she was my only chance at escaping my feelings I guess.” Alex nearly slapped him. “What girl? You tell me fucking everything Zach, and suddenly you’ve been in love with a girl this entire time?” Alex said, suddenly angry. “Just stop Alex! Go with Charlie or Winston, or whoever the fuck! I shouldn’t have said anything!” Zach said, raising his voice slightly. “Look Zach! I get you’re hurt over Chole but don’t take it out on me- I’m trying to help you-.” “NO.” Zach said, collapsing on the floor and starting to cry again. “You don’t get it! It’s not about Chole! It’s about you! I’m in love with YOU Alex!” 

Shit. He blurted that without even thinking about it and now there was nothing. Silence in the air that could speak a thousand words. The two boys didn’t move, just kept their eyes locked onto eachother with their eyes and mouths wide open. “I’m sorry Alex. I shouldn’t have said that- I’m an asshole for saying I’m straight and then realizing too late that I’m not. It’s just- seeing you with Winston, I was so fucking jealous it confused me, so I thought maybe if me and chole- dated it would clear shit up; tell me I’m straight...but I was- I was wrong.You might be over me..and this may be kinda werid... but I-.” Zach was cutoff by lips pressing against his, this time more passionate than the night on the roof and more softly and gently than ever before. This time, neither pulled away and Zach relaxed into it, running his fingers through Alex’s hair. Tears streaked down Zachs cheeks as he realized everything. This whole time he had been drinking away his feelings for this amazing and wonderful boy in his life, hoping for an escape; but all he needed was right here in his arms, his whole entire universe pressed against his own lips. The two released as Zachs hands wrapped around Alex’s waist. “Does- Does that clear shit up?” Alex asked. “Yeah. I think- I do- I do love you. Like..a lot.”


End file.
